The Night We Met
by mamasutra
Summary: Edward Cullen was a struggling writer who could not find his inspriation until she appeared in the form of girl that brought out the passion in him as well as the words that had so painfully eluded him. Every story has a happy ending and he could have lived his if only he had written the right words. A journey of love lost and love found.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The ballroom was crowded with people I had never met and didn't care if I ever met them. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be back at my home in the small apartment above a book store I rented for inspiration, but so far no inspiration had found its way to my door even though I surrounded myself with published authors of all fame.

"Another drink, sir?" the bartender asked me as I sat there looking anywhere but at the people around me. I hated being here, but when your favorite Uncle and the man closest to a father finally get married you attend with a big smile.

"Sure," I mumbled as I pulled out a used cocktail napkin that I had been scribbling on throughout the night while he went about mixing my vodka tonic. It was soothing to watch him a he moved in an almost robotic fashion, doing something he had done countless times before.

"Dirty martini," I heard a young girl's voice call out as I felt her small frame collide into mine as she approached the bar where I was sitting. It was just enough of a jarring motion to cause me to drop my napkin full notes into the one wet spot on the bar. I watched with despair as the scrambled words I had written melted together, leaving me once more without any ideas as to what the write for as the story that was burning inside of me.

"Oh my god,' she mumbled embarrassed as I felt her hand upon my back just as I tried to glare at her before unleashing all the pent up frustration I had over my lack of creativity in the form of a tongue lashing towards this clumsy girl, but was halted in my tracks as my eyes met a wide set of eyes that were the exact color of perfectly aged bourbon.

"I am so sorry," the girl said as she scrambled to grab another napkin for me.

"Just tell me who it was and I get their number again for you," she said as she pulled a pen out of her tiny little purse as she was prepared to chase down some woman who was going to be my next lay.

"It wasn't a phone number. It was notes," I confessed like the loser I was as I watched her cock a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me in surprise. She didn't need to know that I could not think of the last time I had been inside of a woman, let alone entertained one.

I had just opened my mouth to defend the fact that I had no game when it came to women when I noticed that this girl was beautiful. She had the face of an angel with perfect cheek bones and a cute nose. She had full lips that were painted red to match her dress which made her pale skin appear smooth and silky like porcelain, but it was her eyes that held my attention. They were dark and mysterious with a hint of playful fire burning them while framed with long thick lashes. This girl was a vision. She was vision. She was _my vision_ of what I had dreamed of as the girl in my book, the girl that owned the hero's heart. This was her.

"Ok," she said slowly as she looked at me as if I was truly the freak I was acting like.

"Listen, I'm sorry about this," she said as she stepped away from me gingerly, like she was walking away from a bomb.

"Wait!" I cried out in a strangled tone as I continued to gawk at her in shocked awe. This was her. I knew it. I could feel it and because of it I needed to be with her. I needed to hear her speak since I knew, I just knew if I listened close enough she would tell me the story that was locked in my chest making it impossible for me to sleep at night with the weight crushing me.

I watched as she looked at me with a worried look, but she remained.

"I just want to buy you a drink," I stammered nervously as I tugged on my hair until it stood on end.

"I'm…I'm not as crazy as I appear," I stammered as she continued to look at me with those all knowing mysterious eyes that made me feel stupid and wonderful all at once.

"Ok, champ. I believe you," she said slowly as she continued to watch me with a careful look as I mentally kicked myself. I had scared the girl like the fucking creeper I was, but this par for the course since I truly had no game when it came to women.

"It's just that you're my Emily," I said as she watched me with a nervous look as I stood before her while tossing the bartending cash for bother her drink and mine.

"Ok," she said as she looked at me with a nervous smile as I rolled my eyes over my stupidity once more.

"I'm a writer and you... you are what I imagine as the heroine in my book," I managed to say as she watched me with an expectant look, but what she was expecting I wasn't sure. The only thing I was sure of was that she wasn't expecting that answer since the moment I spoke she started to giggle. It was a so giggle that was charming and made me smile.

"You're a writer," she said with a giggle as if everything I had said finally made sense.

"My mom is a writer. She's a little… different so I guess I understand now," she said with a wave of her hand before her face flushed red in embarrassment.

"I didn't mean that you were weird, I just meant…" she stammered as I smiled at her. I knew I was weird. I had been told it too many times to count by friends, former lovers and family, but it was that weirdness that would lead me to greatness or at least that was what my mother used to tell me.

"It's ok," I said as I smiled at the girl, marveling over her as she smiled in response.

"I'm Edward," I said as I offered her my hand. I watched as the girl took hold of it without fear, but instead a happy smile as she held my hand in hers.

"Bella. Pleasure to met you," she said with a sweet smile that eased the awkwardness that was in the air between us until there was nothing but the warm feeling of understanding.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! While this chapter is not beta'd the others will be I promise.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The night passed and as it did conversation became easier, especially with the help of alcohol. Bella wanted to know about my book. She was the only one who had ever asked me about my book with interest since all my friends had long stopped asking since it only lead to my depressed sigh.

"I'm stuck," I confessed to her after telling her about the characters that I created and loved.

"No writer is ever stuck," she said as she pulled the green olive off the tooth pick that had been nestled in her drink with her white teeth. There was something erotic about watching her suck the olives and I immediately felt my body's response to her not so innocent gesture.

"You just need help, that's all," she said with such authority that I almost believed her.

"What about a love story?" she asked me with eyes bright from the vodka she was ingesting. It made her look adorable.

"What about a love story?" I asked her as I leaned closer to her to hear her over the loud DJ that was blaring horrible dance music.

"What about a love story between Emily and Sam? I mean, everyone loves a love story," she said with a dreamy smile as she looked at me. She was too cute and making it too hard to concentrate as she waved the bartender down for a vodka and pineapple juice for us both.

"I've never written a love story," I said as I thought about it out loud. It would be a challenge and I did love a challenge.

"I don't know though. I mean, romance can be hard," I said showing her the slight doubt I had over my own ability to do as she suggested.

"It's easy, Edward," she scoffed at me as I rolled my eyes in response.

"Haven't you ever been in love?" she asked me with a teasing smile as while gripping my arm instead of shoving at me like she had all night whenever she would tease. I could feel the heat from her touch as she held on to my arm. It was an innocent touch, yet it felt so intimate that it took my breath away.

"No," I confessed in a sorrowful tone to her without naming the woman who had come and gone from my life and bed without one ounce of love shared between us.

"Never?" she asked me, as if she was surprised by my answer, but there should have been no surprise since I had made it clear to her how little of experience I truly had when it came to women.

"Never," I whispered to her, suddenly feeling embarrassed for my lack of love life.

"Hmmm," she whispered as if she was thinking before she turned towards me once more. She was so close this time that our noses almost brushed as she looked at me with those innocent eyes that held too many secrets that I wanted to know.

"I could always make you," she said as she looked at me with alcohol heavy eyes that made my heat be out of rhythm before I focused on her full lips that begged to be kissed.

"Make me?" I questioned in a low whisper, almost afraid to break this spell that had settled over us, bringing this girl this close to me while making me wish she was closer yet.

"Make you fall in love with me," she said in a teasing whisper as she smiled at me in the sweetest, yet most devious way, but she had no idea that I was already there. I knew I could fall in love with girl. It would be the easiest thing in the world to fall in love with her.

"Ok," I whispered in a soft agreement, causing her to giggle like a school girl over how quickly I agreed to the madness of her offer, but what she didn't understand was that I was already in love with her, I just hadn't realized it until then.

AN:

Thanks for reading! I will post the cleaned up/beta'd version of this later.

See ya net Wednesday!

Xoxo

Mamasutra


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

We stumbled down the empty hotel hallway. Her hands where knotted in my hair and my hands firmly gasping her ass while kissing to the point of breathlessness. I had never done this before, this brazen act of lust, this art of being lost in another person. For me, sex was always somewhat hit or miss. I had previous girlfriends that were cold or docile, but that wasn't Bella. She was a fire that burned in my veins and called to me. She was everything the other women hadn't been and everything that I needed all rolled into one. It was liberating and terrifying all at once since I was out of control and I was _never _out of control, yet I loved it.

"Edward," Bella moaned against my lips as I pinned her against the wall to kiss her neck, allowing us both a moment to breathe while I thanked my lucky stars that I had agreed to get a hotel room where the reception was being held instead of trekking back home to empty apartment. It was lucky for me since I knew there was no way I would last if that was the case since I would find myself fucking this girl while riding the El back home as homeless people watched.

"Baby," I whispered against her skin that was hot and damp from my kiss as I moved us without ever untangling her from around my waist towards my hotel room door.

"I want you," she moaned in a low whisper like it was secret just between us as one of her hands gripped my shoulder while the other tugged on my hair tightly while I struggled with the key card lock. I needed in. I wanted inside of her and if I couldn't get the door open I wasn't above taking her in the middle of the hallway.

"I want you," I whispered back to her in a low groan as I felt her teeth scrape across the skin of my neck, making my knees almost buckle from the pleasure pain sensation that raced through me before centering in my cock.

The door finally flew open and as it did I grabbed her ass hard in my hard, carrying her inside, while not bothering to turn on the light. The need to have her, taste her, claim her as mine was too much and left me shaking with desire.

I tossed her on the bed and listened to her breathless giggle as she bounced on the king sized mattress before me. I turned the lights so I could see her. I wanted to see her skin. I wanted to know if that adorable blush that she had showed me covered her breasts. I wanted to watch the curve of her legs as they wrapped around me. I needed to see her wet with desire and spread eagle before me as her body adjusted to my invasion within her. It everything I had never cared about when it came to fucking a woman, yet everything that I needed from her.

Bella looked at me with wide eyes, bright from lust as she bit her lower lip in the most adorable manner. She looked worried and wanton all at once.

"I've never done this before," she said to me as her face flushed red in embarrassment while my male ego roared to life over the idea of being her first. Virgins were never something I had wanted to do, yet the idea of being this girl's first made my cock harder than what it ever had been in my entire life.

"I'll be gentle, I promise," I said in a voice that sounded too strained to be mine while I fought off the excitement that urged me to part her legs to take her now.

"I've done _that," _she said in an embarrassed tone while I frowned over the idea of another claiming that right to be her first.

"I mean, I've never done _this_," she said as she looked at me while slowly sitting up on the mattress as I stood before her at the foot at the bed, not bothering to hide my hard on that was boldly on display.

"I've never… not with someone I don't know, not like this," she whispered softly as I nodded in agreement since neither had I.

"So, you're my first," she said with a grin that was teasing, yet nervous.

"Mine too," I whispered in response as she looked at me with those all knowing brown eyes.

"Good," she said with a pleased smile as I slowly moved to undo my tie. I was tired of talk. I wanted skin. I wanted _her_ skin.

"No more talk," I said as I tried to take over the situation, leading her back to where we were in the hallway when she was whispering how badly she wanted my cock.

"Show me," I said to her as her face flushed pink once more, but a naughty grin played upon her lips. I watched a she struggled to unzip her dress, waiting to see if she needed my assistance, but then was rewarded by her sultry smile as the material loosened around her as she slowly pulled the dress off so it pooled around her knees before she slipped it off completely.

Bella smiled a naughty grin as she kneeled before me in only black lace that barely held her breasts up before my eyes dipped enough to see the matching garter that held her stockings and the wisp of lace that covered her pussy. She was stunningly beautiful and more than sexy as she kneeled before me as if she was awaiting my command.

"More," I managed to say as I directed her to remove her bra with a flick of my wrists before her heavy breasts bounced free while taunting me with her hard nipples that begged for attention from my mouth. I watched as she moved towards the garter and I stopped her.

"Leave those on," I said as I listened to Bella snicker softly before bypassing her garter belt so her stocking stayed up since I loved how the black stockings contrasted against the creamy white of her skin before pulling her panties off to expose herself.

"Let me see you," I said as she shook her head no in embarrassment as I stepped closer to her while unbuttoning my shirt.

"Let me see where you want me," I rasped in a low tone as she smiled nervously as she shifted back on the bed as if she was going to show me her most secret place, the one place I wanted to be. I waited for the space of a heart beat before I watched with amazement as her legs parted, showing me the pink of creamy flesh between her legs. It was all I needed to see to propel myself towards her since the burning need to taste this girl was driving me insane.

My shirt was gone and my pants unbuttoned to ease the pressure of my hard on as I found myself face first between her legs. I could hear Bella's gasp I leaned in close and breathed her in. She smelled of arousal and lust. It was a heady scent that went right to my cock, causing it to ache as I licked my lips like a man long starved and I was while I breathed her in. I had always enjoyed going down on a woman. I loved their moans and would always take pleasure from the pleasure I gave, but never once had I ever wanted to taste a woman like I wanted her. I wanted to drink her in and savor her like fine wine. I wanted to memorize the wet curves of her flesh and it was maddening since I had never craved the taste of a woman before like I craved her.

I could not take the waiting any long as I pressed close to lick her in a slow manner that made her cry out in what could only be shock and possibly pleasure before focusing my attention on the hard nub before me. I sucked her into her mouth, swirling my tongue around her hard clit as she bucked her hips up against my touch. I found myself using my hands to hold her open for my exploring tongue while my arm held her tight so I could taste her to my heart's desire.

Bella tasted like the ocean with the salty sweet tang that was purely her. It left me wanting more as I continued to slip my tongue in and out of her, collecting her taste on my tongue as she thrashed above me as if I was exorcising a demon from this angel above me until she arch off the bed in shuddering movements while crying out in gibberish telling me that she was close, but I wanted more than to just watch her. I wanted to be within her as she came. I wanted to feel her and the odd power that she had over me as she lost control. I wanted it more than the sex scented air I was breathing.

I pulled away from her, causing her to groan in disappointment as her eye opened to find me kneeling on the bed above her. There was no need for words or for me to explain what I wanted. She knew. She could see the hunger in my eyes and it made her still beneath me as she waited impatiently for me to make my move.

She watched as I stepped away from the bed to rid myself of my pants that hung low on my hips from grinding against the mattress I had done while pleasing her. Her eyes went wide as I stripped myself of my pants and boxers all in one move, all the while never taking her eyes off my hard cock as it snapped back against my stomach. There was no more time to waste as I needed her now.

I kneeled back on the bed, feeling her eyes roam hungrily over my skin while setting off electric currents of pleasure without her even touching me. I parted her les wide and looked down at her before hovering over her body. The low moan of pleasure that escaped both of our lips as I slid my cock against her wet folds filled the space between us.

"Bella, do you want this?" I asked her in a low whisper, needing to hear that she wanted me as badly as what I needed her while giving her one last chance to tell me no.

"Do you want me?" I asked her as I listened to her low hiss as I grinded against her clit, causing her body to twitch with excitement under my touch.

"Yes," she hissed to me as her hands found gripped my ass and hips hard, pulling me into her as the head of my cock sought entrance. I glanced at her face and found it tense with wanting as she watched me gingerly slip the tip of my cock inside of her. She looked at me suddenly, letting our eyes met as our bodies connected together the way they were created to. Her eyes were dark and stormy from needing me, but that wasn't what took my breath away, it was her. I could see her. I could see us in her eyes. I could see that this was the that had been made just for me and while that though terrified me, it also set off a primal need inside to make her mine since that was what she was. She was mine and I knew it.

I listened and felt her low gasp shake throughout my body I sunk into her. II could taste the blood from my lip where I had bitten down in effort to fight off the need to come immediately as her body constricted around me as I pushed as deep into her. This was heaven and hell combined as I felt every shudder, every breath she would take while our bodies struggled to come to together.

"Edward," she half whispered in a moaned plea as I remained motionless inside of her. It was the same needy plea I felt inside of me to move, to mark, to claim her as my own.

I pulled out of her warmth abruptly, causing her body to shake as she gasped in surprise for a second before I filled her again, starting the ebb and flow that made up us in this moment. I listened to her gasp filled sigh. I could feel the sting of her nails cutting crescent shaped marks into my ass and shoulder as she fought to have me closer, yet I was as close as I could be to her. I could smell her arousal mixed with the heady scent of our sex filling the air around us while making me light headed from the spiral of lust and primal emotions that it evoked within me, pushing me to take her harder than I ever thought was possible.

"Oh my god," she groaned loudly before pulling me down and capturing my lips that had roamed over all of her skin that I could reach, kissing and sucking at her breasts before going back to her sweet lips once more. One of her small hand sunk into my hair, pulling it and me against her mouth while I swallowed every delicious moan that she gave while the other hand clawed at back in the most erotic of manners. I breathed in her breath as we pressed close together just as her eyes opened to look into mine; leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable as I felt her body tighten around me, arching into my touch as her mouth opened in a silent cry before shuddering hard beneath me. She looked beautiful and wild with her hair tangling on my pillow, shaking against me as her body urged me to come with the tightness that surrounded me, but it was the sound of her softly chanting my name as it was a prayer that caused the damn to break with in me. The pressure in my belly and cock took over as she whispered my name while clinging to me as if I was the only shelter for her in this storm of passion and emotions. I drove into her harder while spiraling out of control, letting the white pleasure burn of release and her sweet voice send me head first into mind numbing bliss.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I couldn't wait for the beta'd version so I'm posting this one early. Don't worry… I'll post the cleaned up version later.**

**That last chapter was so short I thought I would post this one, plus I love smut so how could I resist? Any who… I will do my best to keep up with updates this November as I struggle through National Write a Novel Month so if I lag at all you'll know why. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I slowly came back to reality with a heavy feeling on my chest and a ringing in my head. There was a reason why I rarely drank and this was proving to be a reminder as to why I never did. I opened my crusty eyes slowly and discovered the room was still dark. It had to be early morning, and while that was not shocking, what was shocking was that through to the ringing in my head I could hear them. I could hear them talking to me, Sam and Emily that is. They had a story to tell; a love story, a forbidden love story that burned me while their voices demanded my attention.

I moved to sit up only to discover a small brunette sprawled across my chest. It was only then that the memories of last night crashed over me.

Bella.

Bourbon colored eyes.

Rose colored lips that curved up into a naught grin.

A pink blush that covered the apple of her cheeks.

A soft giggle that ended with a snort in the cutest way possible.

_I could make you fall in love with me._

Bella.

My hands shot out to steady the sleeping girl as I eased her into my side. Even sleeping with her hair in ratty tangles around her face she was a vision. I had never seen anyone so beautiful and innocent looking as they slept, but there was nothing innocent about the fallen angel at my side.

My mind raced as the activities from last night crashed over me once more. I had met a girl, the perfect girl, who whispered stories in my ear as I loved her rough and wild. I listened to her frantic cries of pleasure as I pounded into her, driving the story out of her like the possessed man I had become. I listened as Bella cooed love words at me in throaty sighs and soft moans as I made love to her slowly while refusing to let her or myself sleep since I never wanted the night to end. I wanted her and the magic of her touch forever. It was then in that moment of crystal clear clarity that I had handed her my heart and she had taken it willingly. It was exactly like what she had said. She had made me love her and I was amazed by it.

I held her in my arms, listening to her soft snore as she cuddled closer. She was warm and soft against my skin as I envisioned morning like this in my apartment under ratty old sheets and while the faint smell of coffee lingered in the air from the shop below. I could almost see her in my small apartment with the curtains open as music placed, she would be making dinner while dancing , letting me watch her since she knew how much I liked to watch. I could almost see her spread out on the beat up red wooden table in the corner of the room, papers scattered on the floor with my lap top placed haphazardly on the chair below as we made love there and on every other surface of my place. I could see her. I could feel her. I could almost taste her there and it was all as if she had been born to be at my side.

"Edward," Bella moaned in a low whisper of a sound while snuggling closer to me. Her full lips were in a full, sleepy pout as she looked at me with tired eyes, but I could see the fire in them. It was the same fire I felt inside and that left me scared shitless while soothing me in the oddest of fashions since I knew she understood me.

"Yes, my love?" I responded before pressing a kiss to her lips just to watch her smile. She had an adorable smile that was sleepy from all the times I had demanded her flesh while surrendering my heart to her.

"Tell me a story," she whispered with a teasing grin as her fingers trailed over my skin, teasing my nipples before trailing over my belly to trace over my ever hardening cock. The girl was magic since her touch would bring me life. I watched her fingers trail over my skin, stroking me until I was hard and thick for her once more.

"What kind of story does my girl want to hear?" I whispered to her as I pulled her on top of me so I could see her body in the dim lit room. Her grin told me that she heard me, my claiming her as mine with words as well as this ancient gesture of love. I watched the blanket fell away to expose the creaminess of her skin and the perfect rose tips of her tear drop shaped breasts as they swayed with her movement before bracing herself on my chest. Her hands clawing my skin as I steadied her, but she wanted nothing to do with my steadying as she slipped back and forth against me. I found myself biting back at moan of pleasure as I felt her heat surround me without taking me in. It was perfect and yet not enough, but what would be enough? I had been inside of her already, I had tasted her skin and each new touch or taste only made me want her more.

"Tell me our story," she whispered to me knowingly, as if she knew she had my heart without me ever saying the words. I liked that about her. I liked that she knew since even though I could write a story, I could never say the right words to make someone understand this feeling inside.

I moved, cupping her breasts as she arched above my touch before slipping a hand between us to help guide my way inside of her eager body. It was the spinning sensation of heat and warm, love and light, passion and completion that over took me, leaving me breathless as Bella gasped in response as well.

"Yes," she hissed in pleasure as she sunk down up on me, taking me as deep inside of her as what I could go while her body arch back like a blooming flower. She was beautiful with her tangled hair hanging around us and sensual with each roll of her hips as she rocked above me, robbing me of my senses with each wave of pleasure, but it was more than that as I realized _she_ was the story that I needed to tell.

**AN:  
Thanks for reading! I needed a break from Nano so here is what I came up with **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The bright morning glare cut through the hotel room, but I didn't mind I had been awake for over an hour writing notes, filing out scenes that kept playing in my mind as I pulled out my trust journal that I kept with me at all times. It held all my ideas, all my dreams over Emily and Sam, and I was not about to lose one now.

I was on fire with the passion of needing to write. It burned me up inside and left me reduced to a simpering idiot as I struggled to write without waking my girl as she lay naked and tangled in expensive hotel sheets that smelled like us. I needed her to rest since I would be coming to her altar later for more inspiration. I would write and as I did I would find my eyes drifting back to Bella who would smile in her sleep at me as if she knew I was watching her.

At four in the morning there was a sharp rap at the door that caused me to jump in surprise while Bella snorted in displeasure. I had ordered coffee from room service so I was expecting them, yet the sudden burst of noise left my heart pounding in my chest.

I raced to the door, opening it only a little to protect my sleeping girl from prying eyes. It was a young man, not much younger than me who greeted me with a sleepy smile and a tray that held a pot of coffee and two cup. I motioned for him to remain silent as I waved behind me like a mad man in effort to show that my guest was sleeping before motioning for him to wait. I turned with tray in hand back towards the room. The guy watched it as I sat it upon the table by my scattered notes before digging through my wallet for cash for the tip as well as a piece of paper. I quickly wrote _Thank you_ on it and flashed him the card while handing him the generous tip before watching him pocket his cash with nod as he left me alone once more.

I poured myself a cup of coffee before returning to my writing with one final glance towards Bella as she slept. I wrote slowly filling in holes in the plot that had been there, but now with Bella's help, I was able to repair. It was like magic and the more I wrote, the more I needed to write until hand writing wasn't enough. I needed my lap top. I needed to tell the story that was torturing me to escape, but I knew there was nothing quiet about the clattering of my typing. I knew I typed like I was pounding on the key board. I had been told that many times by former roommates and lovers that the sound of my typing was like enduring Chinese water torture. It was with a heavy heart and ache in my soul that I grabbed my lap top and phone to hide out in the lobby to write. I had told myself that it was best option since I would get rid of the terrible need to tell the story inside while letting my girl sleep. It seemed reasonable, but I should have known that nothing was ever reasonable. It was with lap top and coffee in hand that I leaned over my sleeping beauty to whisper a promise in her ear.

"Baby, I need to write, but I'll just be right outside so you sleep," I whispered to her before pressing a kiss against her kiss swollen lips while she murmured my name. _My_ _name_. It was like the magic words to get me hard since I knew she was dreaming of me and I wanted her to dream of me. I wanted all of her thoughts to be of me. It was greedy, but I was a greedy man and not shamed of it.

With one last kiss against her pouty lips I stood up and left my Bella to sleep with the promise I would be back to feed her breakfast. I would bring her greasy bacon with cheesy hash browns and mimosas to ease her hang over. I would find a way to sweet talk her, even though I had never sweet talked a girl before in my life, into telling me her last name while convincing her that my last name would sound better on her. I had plans, big plans to woo this girl I didn't know into believing that she needed to be with me and that she was my muse that I had been looking for. It was crazy and more than likely a long shot, but looking down at Bella I knew I had to do it since she was it for me.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

**warning! Not beta'd**

I took up residence in a quiet corner of the lobby, spreading out my notes and lap top like I owned the damn place before beginning my quest to write. Parts of it were easy since I had the story essentially written, it was just weaving Emily into Sam's story, but she blended in like she was born to be at his side. It was simple and when the romance between them began in my story I was easily swept up with them. I knew Sam's want to protect her, his need to make her happy and finally his desire to make her his own. It was all new to me, yet old as time as I wrote about the love a man had for a woman.

I lost track of all time and reason until I heard the familiar grunt of my brother calling my name.

"Hey fuckface!" he bellowed loudly, pulling me out the romance of kissing under the stars back to the harsh reality of a noisy hotel lobby. I looked all around to find Emmett standing before me. He had a confused look on his face and his suit case at his feet.

"Did you sleep out here?" he asked me in an incredulous tone as I looked around at the people checking out and checking in to Hilton that I was staying in.

"What time is it?" I asked him as he looked at me with wide eyes of surprise.

"Are those your dress pants?" he asked me as he motioned towards my clothes. I was wearing my suit pants and the white undershirt I had worn under my button up shirt. I had on my dress shoes, but no socks. I looked like a damn homeless man standing there.

"What time is it?" I asked him again as I looked down at my lap top to discover that it was after noon. I had been gone hours instead of the hour or two I had planned on.

"Oh fuck!" I sputtered as I motioned for Emmett to stay before I took off running towards my room and the girl I had left sleeping.

I ran down the hallway, knocking a couple out of the way without an apology until I stood before the hotel room door. I scrambled to undo the look with the damn key card I was assigned, but my shaking hands made it near impossible.

"Calm the fuck down," Emmett hissed at me as he approached from behind until he was standing right beside me. I gave him a frantic look as I pulled on my hair, town between knocking the door down and running after my lap top that my jack ass brother had left unsupervised.

"Jasper's watching your computer so calm the fuck down," he grumbled as he pulled the card out of my hands to open the door with a rough jerk. I stumbled into the room, half expecting to find Bella asleep and half knowing that she would be gone.

My eyes searched the bed only to find it empty as I groaned in disappointment. I touched the sheets as I nearly fell upon them only to find them cool to the touch. I moved back towards the bathroom, hoping that maybe she was in there, but as I pushed the door open I was greeted with the emptiness of the small white room.

"What the hell happened here?" he asked me as I came out to face him. I d nothing to say since what was there to say? I could I tell him that I had found her, the girl who could unlock the story in my heart?

"Bella," I sputtered out loud as I looked around the room as if she as hiding, but I knew better. She was gone and I had no idea who even to find her. I had no idea who she was outside of the girl who was made just for me.

"You had a girl up here?" he asked me in a high pitched tone of surprise before following it up with loud laughter that stung my skin with its mockery. I watched him as he doubled over in laughter, knocking over a piece of paper that had been placed on the empty desk. I fell over on the bed, breathing in her scent while Emmett wheezed with his laughter like the asshole he was. I buried my face in the material while stuffing my hand under the pillow only to find the scrap of black lace that had been Bella's long forgotten panties.

"Oh, fuck, Edward," he said in as gasping tone as he tried to breathe while I hoped that he would choke on his own spit.

"I mean, I knew mom taught you to be polite, but fuck me…" he said as he howled in laughter, causing me to look at him as to what was so fucking funny now. In his large hand he held out the small piece of paper with the words _thank_ _you_ written across it in my flowery looking hand writing as I buried my face in the Bella scented pillow get away from the laughter that filled the room.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

_Six_ _months_ _later_….

"So, I met this hot chick last night," Emmett said with a devious chuckle that made me roll my eyes. He always was meeting some so called hot chick.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Edward" Emmett grumbled as he snatched the last piece of pizza out of the now empty box on the table in fro of us.

"Just because you are scared to take your dick out of dry dock to bask in the unending pussy your book as generated does not mean I will pass this up," he said with a mouth full of food that was flinging out at me in the grossest of manners. It was true. After that night with Bella my book became better, the love story made it and because of it I was reaping the rewards from it. The book was published and has done well. Women loved it and because of that they loved me even though I refused their attention. My heart was lost to a girl whom I didn't even know her last name or how to find her.

"Fuck you," I grumbled at him as I stared down at my lap top. I had the word document open and ready for my idea, yet it was blank. I had no words. Bella had taken them with her when she left that morning.

"Emmett, don't be a dick," Jasper said with a laugh as I ignored him like I always did. Jasper Whitlock was my editor and best friend. He also was the biggest dick I knew outside of Emmett.

"The boy is in love," he teased me as I shook my head at him while giving him a warning look. He knew better than to mention her in Emmett's presence. He knew all too well the mere mention of Bella or that night would send Emmett on a tirade that left me sick

"Boy's in _love_," Emmett scoffed as I ignored him while staring at the blank screen that should be home to my second novel.

"The boy got laid _finally _and has mistaken a willing girl with love," Emmett said while Jasper laughed loudly at him and me.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," I mumbled as I tried to type something, anything, but no words would come.

"Yes, I do. I know that you need to get out more and that the girl with the golden pussy was most likely just a figment of your imagination since I never saw you with anyone that night," he said as I gave him the finger. He was a fucking moron and whenever he referred to Bella as that girl I had to fight off the urge to end his life.

"For starters, shut the fuck up and secondly, she was real," I said as I looked over my screen to my brother who was making a jerk off motion with his hands before rolling his eyes in response.

"What the fuck ever Edward," he said with a sigh as Jasper chuckled at us both.

"Leave the man alone. He owes me another book," Jasper said as he clapped me on the shoulder while walking by me to escort Emmett out of his office.

"Fine, but you're going tonight. No being a pussy and backing out. You owe me from the last time," he said as he pointed his finger at me while leaving the office as Jasper pushed him out at me. I ignored him like I always did. I owed him nothing after the women I was forced to endure because of him.

"Fuck off," I yelled after him as I closed my eyes to clear my head in effort to find my way back to Sam and Emily, even though I knew how it would end. It would end in silence without a word from either of them.

"Whatever happened to the girl?" Jasper asked me even though he knew what had happened. He knew I had searched for her. He knew I attended parties at Carlisle's house in hopes that she would be there. He knew I sought her out at every turn and even stooped as low as to place an ad on Craig's list that came back with nothing. It was a sad ending to what had been a beautiful start.

"I don't know," I managed to say as I looked away from him and towards the window behind his desk.

"I just know she's out there and that I need to find her," I confessed to him like I always had when it came to Bella. Jasper nodded in response while remaining silent. I knew he was too choked up to speak since Jasper knew all too well what it was like to love and lose the one person who completed you. He had a Bella once in his life, except her name is Maria. She was somewhere in the city as well, except she was married to another man now.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The bar was crowded and humming with life. It was exactly the place Emmett would be on a Friday night in search of new tail. I looked around at the women who surrounded the bar. They all were the same, over done, too short of dress, and tits hanging out. They were on the prowl, seeking out free drinks and sex. It was a hunting ground here and I was not in the mood to hunt.

"You see him?" Jasper yelled at me over the music. He had come along to see what girl Emmett was hook up with since it wasn't like him to be shot down and still continue to try. Emmett was notoriously lazy so I had to see the girl that was making him actually try.

"Not yet," I yelled back as I scanned the crowd for his oafy frame until I finally found him. He was leaning against the small table like he owned it. I motioned Jasper to follow me while I kept my eye on Emmett since I didn't want to lose him in this crowd and it would be easy to do.

"Do you know what she looks like?" Jasper yelled at me. He was curious as well about the girl who turned Emmett down.

"I have no idea, but I'm sure she's a winner," I said with a laugh as I thought about the last couple of girls that Emmett had dated. They all had been bleach blonde, fake tits and dumb as hell. Dumb girls were Emmett's bread and butter.

"Look," Jasper said he motioned towards my brother. It was then that I noticed the small girl who was backed against the wall like she was trapped there in Emmett hell. She was dark haired and fidgety as she tried to squeeze out the other side to get away from him. She would step away, avoiding his touch, but Emmett was too stupid to even see that the girl was uncomfortable as he continued to touch her, trailing a not so innocent hand up and down her arm. In the past it would have comical to watch for a moment before stepping in to save the girl except for the fact that it was Bella, _my _Bella, pressed against the wall trying to escape Emmett's wandering hands.

I watched as her beautiful face was contorted in a nervous smile as she looked around for a possible escape. It had been one hundred and eighty-six days since I had last seen her and she was more beautiful than what I had remembered, but there was no time to concentrate on her beauty since she was scared. It was that fear and overwhelming need to protect my girl at all cost made me see red as my heart pounded against my rib cage while my hand shook with the surge of energy that Bella created inside of me. Without another word or thought, I grabbed Emmett by his shoulder to spin him around just in time to meet my fist as it connected with his jaw.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sat on the curb with my hands cuffed behind my back awaiting my turn to enter the police car when the young cop who had cuffed me approached.

"You're one lucky guy, Mr. Cullen," the cop said with a half laugh as I shook my head. I had learned once never to lip off to a cop, but I could not stop myself from disagreeing. I was not lucky. I was far from it. I had found the girl, my girl, and once more she had slipped through my hands.

"Yeah?" I questioned as he smirked like the asshole he was at me like I should know what was so damn funny.

"How do you figure?" I asked him in a sharp tone that I could not mask, while he stood there scribbling on some pad for some bull shit ticket that I was about to receive.

"Well, for starters, your friend over there," he said as he jerked his thumb towards Emmett who was now in the back of a cop car because after I punched him he promptly punched the man behind me since for some reason in his drunken state he thought it was him that had socked him.

"He's going down town for starting this mess," he finished as I shook my head while Emmett bellowed from the back seat of the car while crashing his head into the window as if he was going to batter his way out of custody like the idiot he was.

"While you were spared because the waitress said you were just trying to stop the guy from the fucking punch fest he had started, but was too late to get it done," he said with a laugh as if what had happened and the chain reaction of fuckery that followed was something to laugh at.

"What waitress?" I asked looking around for the little blonde thing that I had seen floating around the bar with a tray in her hand, but I could not find her in the crowd of people who came out to watch the lames ass fight that occurred once I had punched Emmett.

"That one," the guy pointed as paused his ticket writing to motion towards the group of people huddled around a cop car. It was under the flashing blue and red lights that I saw her. Bella stood there head down and nervous looking while some female officer questioned her. She looked beautiful and uncomfortable as she shifted from foot to foot while tugging on her long dark hair. I watched her, mesmerized as she spoke and then nodded towards the officer with a slight smile before turning to leave.

"Wait!" I yelled after her while scrambling to my feet in hopes of getting her attention. I was fully prepared to chase after the girl and to hell with the fact I was still in hand cuffs, but the cop quickly stopped me and she never turned back in my direction.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sat in the crowded bar night after night waiting for her appear, but it was of no use. Bella had disappeared once more. It was with that disappointment that I tried to move on. It was Jasper's idea. He claimed I needed to get out and to some extent he was right since I did need out, just not the way he was thinking.

"Listen, I have a date for you and you will not fuck this up, do you hear me?" he said as I adjusted my tie once more. It felt too tight and too odd being on. I was out of my element which was jeans and a t-shirt, but I had agreed to go. He had a girl he wanted me to meet. He thought she was interesting and knew I would too, but I had my doubts since I knew the women he found to be interesting. They were shallow and vapid, not at all like my Bella or at least how I imagined her to be.

"Do I really have to do this?" I asked him one last time as I adjusted my tie in the mirror.

"Yes, this is important to your career so you have to look like you are normal even though lord knows you aren't," Jasper said as he shook his head at me. I knew it was important to my career. I needed to be able to sell myself every bit as much as what I needed to be able to sell my words, but no matter how much I tried, to me I sounded like a fraud and I hated that. I hated it more than anything since that was the last thing I wanted to be.

It was with a heavy heart that I left my ramshackle apartment with Jasper in tow, who was bitching all the way that I could afford a better place than that. I could afford it, but I had told Bella where it was so in my mind if I stayed there was always that chance that she would just appear even though she hadn't as of yet.

It was a short ride on the el over to where we were meeting the girls as well as the major publisher that would be interested in picking up my book from the minor pub that I was dealing with now.

"You're date is a girl named Charlotte. She's read your book and is _very _interested in you," he said in a teasing tone while I rolled my eyes. In the past I would have seized the chance for nameless sex with low expectations, but I couldn't now that I had been with Bella. I knew there was more. I knew she was out there and that I just needed to her find again.

"Charlotte, right," I repeated as we approached the restaurant where my life could potentially change for the better.

"Don't mess this up, Edward," Jasper repeated in a low growl as we entered the building side by side, as if I needed the reminder that everything career-wise hinged on tonight.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I have plans to update a few more times tonight.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The restaurant was dark and cozy, not that it mattered since I was not there for romance. I was there for business, now if only the girl at my side would understand that.

Charlotte was a nice girl who was pretty with her glossy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She had a nice laugh and could say all the right words, but to me it didn't matter. I wanted dark eyes and a cute snort for a laugh. I wanted warm understanding, not the promise of a quick fuck in the parking lot.

"So, Edward," Aro Volturi said in a dramatic manner while Charlotte smiled at me prettily.

"Tell me about you," he said as Charlotte leaned into me as if she was waiting for something amazing to say, but I had nothing like that to share. I looked over at the man who was judging me while deciding my future and smiled on what I hoped was a pleasant, manner and not the scared shitless grin that I felt like it was.

Aro was not an intimidating man with his short stature and dyed black hair that was styled too young for his fifty years, yet he was. He was scary as hell since he held my future in the palm of his greasy hands that he continued to wipe on his over stylized suit. I glanced from him to his brother, Marcus, who sat there looking bored to tears while running a finger over his wine glass. He was Aro's prized writer and outside of parading out his show pony, I could not see why Aro would insist that Marcus be there tonight.

"I…I…Uhm, am from the Chicago suburbs, Carpentersville," I said as I jerked my thumb in the direction of where I had grown up as if it mattered.

"I went to the University of Iowa and earned my degree in English. I go back for the Writers Workshop in the summers," I said off handedly while the older man nodded as if he gave a damn, but I knew better.

"Iowa, huh?" Marcus said with a half grin as I nodded in response before Jasper took over, regaling them with some story about me in Iowa City that was far from appropriate, yet made the men laugh.

"It's a fun town," Marcus said with a nod of his head as he looked at me with wise eyes that were the color of a rain cloud. It was as if he could see me and that made me twitch with nerves.

"Maybe someday you can take me there," Charlotte suggested boldly causing me to swallow my gasp of surprise with a gulp of beer before choking. Taking her any where was the last thing I wanted to do.

Once I regained my breath I excused myself, blaming my need for a smoke for my sudden absence instead of the sick feeling that Charlotte brought out in me whenever she mentioned me and her in a future setting. I slipped away from the girl to slip out into the night with a relieved sigh as I looked out over the busy Chicago streets.

"So, you want to talk about her?" I heard Marcus call out to me as he appeared out of the darkness with a cigarette dangling from his lips.

**AN:  
Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Come on kid, you're not fooling anyone," Marcus said before taking a deep drag off of his cigarette while I lit up my own. I looked over at him, unsure over what to say. How to do you explain to someone that you love a girl that you don't even know? How do you confess to this insanity without looking like a fucking moron?

"I just met Charlotte," I said as I motioned towards the restaurant with a jerk of my thumb while letting the cigarette dangle from lips. I watched the man smile and shake his head at me which only added to my discomfort.

"Not her, man. I don't get me wrong, that girl is nice, but I can see she's not it. I'm talking about the girl in the book," he said as he smiled at me in a knowing way that made me cringe.

"The one who you wrote for," he said before taking another drag as I shook my head no at him.

"You know, my brother, Aro, is a very bright man, but he only sees dollar signs. He's looking at your book and seeing that it's doing well at Little Brown. He has the vision to see that with more marketing and a greater outreach it would do amazing, resulting in money to be made," he said with a smile as I nodded in agreement. I knew this. I had done my research. I knew Aro was the man who could make me a fortune.

"That's his deal, but he brings me along to see what I think about the book and the writer. He wants me to find out if you are a one trick pony or if you had enough heart and vision for more," Marcus said as he looked at me with a critical eye. He was judging me. I could feel it and while part of me was curious as to what he thought, the other part dreaded his opinion.

"I think…" I started to say, but he stopped me with a flick of his wrists like the odd man he was.

"I don't want to know what you think, kid. I want to know why you write, and I know it has to do with a girl," he said with a half grin as I looked at me, hoping that I didn't look like the idiot I felt like.

"What makes you think it's a girl?" I asked him as I tossed my cigarette on the ground to grind it out with the tip of my shoe.

"Oh, kid," he said with a deep chuckle as he followed suit with his cigarette.

"It's always a girl," he said with knowing look before he clapped me on the shoulder while urging me to follow him.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! I mean it… Thanks for reading! Not many are and I know this story is a little slow & lame so thank you for reading the little story I'm writing here.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I walked away from the restaurant, leaving Jasper to deal with his own date, mine and an Aro that wanted to discuss business. I walked away from what could have been the start of my future only to chase after the guy who wanted to know about my past.

I found myself in a dive bar at Marcus's side telling him everything about Bella. I told him of how her eyes twinkled and how she snorted when she laughed. I talked about how everything with her was new, yet so old since it felt so familiar. I spared him the intimate details, but made it clear that my connection with her was more than sex or lust. It was heavenly. It was meant to be and how I messed it up without thinking by chasing after need to write instead of being with the woman who was without a doubt my muse.

"So, you left her, big deal," Marcus said with a shrug as he looked at me over his mug of beer.

"I leave my Didi all the time to write," he finished after taking a large gulp of beer as I shook my head at him since he didn't understand.

"No, I left the room to let her sleep and when she woke up, I was gone," I tried to explain as he looked at me with an amused look.

"you don't understand, we…We didn't exchange last names or anything," I said as I felt my face flush red over the idea of admitting that I had a one night stand with the girl who ruled my heart since what did that say about us.

"I wasn't planning on just leaving her... I had plans to come back, feed her breakfast and tell her that she had to be with me, but when I came back she was gone," I continued on as Marcus looked at me with an unreadable look and odd half smile.

"I wanted to…" I stammered as I paused for a minute before continuing.

"But I think she may have thought that I was blowing her off since she found the note I wrote for the hotel staff that brought me coffee before I left her to sleep," I said with a cringe as I thought of every horrible reaction that Bella had to have from that damn note.

"What did the note say?" Marcus asked me with a curious tone.

"Thank you," I whispered and then hung my head in embarrassment over my own stupidity. The space between us was silent for a moment as I waited for his laughter, but there was none. I waited the space of heart beat before finally turning to look at the weird man who had saved me from my so called date and business meeting that Jasper had set up for me. Marcus was sitting there was a contemplative look on his face as he nodded his head slowly as if he was thinking.

"So you see…" I started to say, but he silenced me with a wave of his hand.

"This is fixable, kid," he said as a smile started to brighten his face and for the first time since meeting Bella that night I felt hope.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I awoke in the morning to the sharp cry of a child, jarring me out of my vodka induced sleep while reminding me that I was not at home.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled as I sat up abruptly, shocked by the piercing cry as I tried to open my eyes to see where in the hell I was at.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," I heard a female voice say in a tone that dripped with sarcasm. I looked around the too bright of room to find that was unfamiliar to me.

"Who are you?" I asked her in a gravelly voice that sounded painful to my own ears as I cringed in response.

"I could ask you the same thing sweet heart," she said with a snort as I finally focused on the petite blonde who stood before me with a little dark haired boy balanced on her hip in an oddly menacing manner.

"I'm Edward," I said with a yawn as she rolled her eyes in response before turning back towards the hallway that was behind her.

"Marcus!" she screamed in a shrill tone that made my head nearly split in two while the little boy howled in response.

"Get your ass out here and explain the stray you brought home!" she yelled as I covered my ears in an attempt to block out the offensive sound that was making my teeth rattle in my head.

I listened as a door opened and heavy footsteps filled the air as memories from last night flashed before my eyes; memories of Marcus plotting to find a girl who had disappeared like magic while I drank away my sorrows.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" I heard the woman ask as I opened to my eyes to find a rumpled looking Marcus looking at her with a pleading look.

"Love, this is Edward Cullen," he said with a wave of his hand in my direction as I sat upon his couch.

"He's a promising writer that I plan on mentoring, but first we must find his muse," Marcus said in such a dramatic manner that even I could not stop from rolling my eyes at him.

"Oh this will good," I heard the woman murmur in response before turning and walking away from us both.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Happy Thanksgiving to all my US friends! I am thankful for all of you!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

The kitchen was loud with the shrill sounds of a little boy playing while his mother banged pans together in effort to make breakfast. I watched Marcus as he watched his wife with such love in his eyes. It was inspiring and oddly calming to in the presence of such a romance.

"Didi is a little pissed off, but she'll come around," Marcus whispered to me in a low voice that no doubt she could hear.

"How do you know?" I asked him while not bothering to even lower my voice in the pretense of whispering to him.

"Because she loves a love story and you, kid, are living a love story," he said with a wide grin before turning back to his wife.

"Right Didi?" he called out to her with a laugh before turning back to his son with that same wide grin.

"Don't listen to him, Edward," the woman said as she turned to face me while shocking me by calling me by my first name.

"No, listen to me since I am going to help you find your girl," he said with a smile as he picked up his son as Didi cried out to leave the child alone, but he ignored her while leaving me alone with the woman.

"I'm sorry about all of this," I said, breaking the silence with my apology. I watched as her face flushed pink in embarrassment, reminding me of my girl as she sputtered a response.

"NO need to be sorry," she said with a smile that was soft and sweet.

"As a matter of fact, I should thank you," she said with a soft laugh as we both watched Marcus and the boy from a distance.

"This is the most alive I have seen Marcus in weeks," she confessed as she watched him with happy grin that made me want to smile as well.

"He loves a love story," she confessed as her eyes followed her husband as he waltzed around the room with their toddler.

"I don't know if this is a love story or just a story of lost love," I said as I thought about my girl who was out there somewhere without me.

"If Marcus says it's a love story then that's what it is," Didi said with such confidence that I could not help but to believe her as well.

**AN:**

**Thanks friends!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I sat in the green room of the late night show while Didi watched me with a grin.

"I never agreed to this," I said as she laughed at me with a wide grin as if she was enjoying my misery.

"Uhm, yes you did. You told Marcus by any means necessary and while I agree this is a little extreme, it's also every effective," she teased as I rolled my eyes at her. She was right and that was the worst part of it all. I had agreed to anything. I had told him by any means necessary, but I didn't think I would be sitting in the green room of the Jimmy Fallon show waiting to be called out so I could do my own public service announcement looking for my muse who went missing after a one night stand.

"Mr. Cullen, they're ready for you," a young girl said who barely looked at me as she stuck her head in the doorway while motioning for me to move.

"Go get'em tiger," Didi mocked as I tripped over the coffee table in the center of the room before stumbling out into the hall to go talk in front of what could be millions of people.

I could hear Marcus talking about his new book that was being turned into a movie before telling Jimmy about me.

"I heard you have a new friend," Jimmy said, transitioning their conversation so that they could talk about me while I swallowed the bile that threatened to projectile vomit out of my mouth while waiting for my cue to come sit by Marcus.

"I have. He's an author, a hell of an author if I'm being honest," Marcus said with pride in his voice that took me by surprise.

"Can we bring him out?" I heard him say in a tone that sounded like it was coming from inside of a cave while I clung to the heavy drapes that separated me from the view of the stage audience.

"Sure, Edward Cullen, ladies and gentlemen," Jimmy said as the roar of applause filled my head, causing me to flinch in surprise. I was practically pushed out on to the sound stage by the girl beside me as I struggled to remember how to even walk. It took a nervous minute of standing there like a damn fool before I sat by Marcus who greeted me with a smile.

We made idle talk about my book which I was sure without a doubt was to appease Jasper and Aro before Marcus launched into how I was missing my muse. I sat there like a fucking moron while Marcus told Jimmy the story of Bella and me as I cringed, praying that he would leave out the fact that I basically fucked and chucked the girl with a polite thank you note left behind.

"Do you know her name?" Jimmy asked me, pulling me back into the conversation as I looked at him like a deer caught in the head lights.

"Yeah, her name is Bella, but I never got her last name," I said and then listened to the audience ah in sadness as I confused to not knowing a damn thing about my girl.

"Do you have her picture since if you do we can show it here and help a fella out you know?" Jimmy said while motioning for his audience to clap in agreement over his offer. I looked over to Marcus in a panic since he knew I didn't have a picture. He knew what I had was far more damning than a picture and that I carried it with me always as if it were a good luck charm.

"He doesn't have a picture, but show the man what you have," Marcus encouraged as I shook my head no at him in a panicked manner.

"Come on, Edward. This may help," he said as Jimmy and the audience cheered me on to the point I had no choice, except to show them what memento I had from my night with Bella.

It was with a shaking hand that I reached into my suit pant pocket and pulled out the wisp of black lace that had been Bella's panties, the same ones that she had left behind after our night of bliss. I held them up and listened as the audience fell silent for the space of a heart beat before erupting in laughter.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends! I am thankful for all of you!**

**Xoxo,**

**Mamasutra**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

"Look at this!" Marcus yelled happily as he spun around from where he was sitting at his desk to show me yet another blog site that had latched on to the story of me and Bella.

"Shut up," I mumbled as I grabbed the decorative pillow off his couch to cover my face in a weak attempt to end my life my smothering myself.

"Calm the hell down," Marcus said with a laugh that was quickly followed by the high pitched squeal of laughter from his two year old Demetri.

"This is a good thing, Edward," he said as he made a face at Demetri who continued to laugh at him while peaked out from under the pillow to glare at him like the fucking idiot I had proven myself to be.

"How in the hell do you figure that this is a good thing?" I asked him as I tossed the pillow away from me as he looked from me back to his son while Didi yelled at me not to toss her pillows around.

"I went on national TV and flashed my girl's panties, changing our love story from an instant game show love connection to a quick and dirty fuck without even thinking," I moaned as he laughed at me while covering Demetri's ears from my use of profanity.

"Edward, showing Bella's panties was not the smartest thing I have ever seen you do, but there is a silver lining to his epic mess you have created," he said as he sat De down so he could chase after his mother.

"And what would that be since, I'll be honest, I cannot see it," I said as I looked at the man who had somehow taken over my non-existent love life while heading up the search party for the girl who stole my heart before I stole her panties.

"Oh ye of little faith," Marcus mocked as I closed my eyes to block him out.

"You and your far Bella is the talk of the town," he said as I cringed in response. I knew this and I hated it. I was well aware that I was the talk of the town. I had read the blog and their interest in the missing girl that I had professed my love for on Jimmy Fallon. Some people found it to be romantic, but most just thought it was funny since I guess a bad one night stand was fairly relatable to the general population.

"It doesn't matter since it has been three weeks and while people are talking, I have not heard from Bella at all," I said as Didi walked in with Demetri hanging off her hip.

"You flashed her panties on national TV while explaining that you fucked and chucked her," Didi said in an irritated tone as she walked in the room, reminding me once more that I was a total fuck up in this situation.

"I said thank you," I whispered as I defended myself, even though there was no defending what I did even if it was a mistake.

"How very polite of you," she mocked as Marcus launched into how this story may not have brought Bella back to me just yet, but it has brought me attention and attention was good. He was right of course. All the attention on my personal failure had caused my professional life to sky rocket. People wanted to read the book that Bella had inspired. They wanted to read that love that caused me to go on TV looking for like a moron. They wanted to experience it and when they did they seemed to love it since the reviews were great.

"You know, something about this whole mess has been bothering me," Didi said as she looked at me with a curious look that made me nervous since nothing ever good came from her looking at me like that.

"You said you met Bella at your Uncle's wedding, right?" she asked me as I nodded in response.

"Was she a guest?" she asked me as I looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Yes, I think so," I muttered while fighting the urge to roll my eyes at her inane question.

"Do you know for sure?" she asked me as Marcus watched our exchange with a curious look.

"I don't know for sure. I mean, I'm guessing she was since she was there and who just goes to a wedding?" I asked with a weak laugh as Marcus looked from me to Didi with a laugh.

"Didi and used to crash weddings all the time," he said with a loud laugh while I looked at him horrified since that was just such a scum bag thing to do.

"When we were flat broke we would go and eat their dinner while drinking their beer. Marcus would then tell me what he thought their love story was. It was always a good time," she said with a soft giggle while Marcus shook his head at her as if he was amazed by her and it was clear that he was.

"That's sick," I said as they both laughed at me as if I was the horrible one in this story.

"I guess what I'm getting at is have you asked your uncle or aunt if they know her?" Didi asked as I gawked at her in shocked horror since in all this time and all the embarrassment I had faced at the hands of friends, I had never once asked Carlisle if he knew Bella.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! So, my American friends, how did you do on Black Friday? Did you go out? I did and made out like a bandit at Target : ) I go out every year in honor of my sister Lisa who, I have no doubt, goes with me in spirit. She loved the thrill of the chase when it came to hunting out a great deal and I always think of her with a smile since I know she is loving it when I see a crazy crowd in the store full of Door Busters. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

After Didi made mention that I had failed to ask the one person that may hold the key to my mystery girl I practically ran out of their graystone to call him. I needed privacy. I needed to know if he has seen me make an ass of myself on TV before asking if he knew my dream girl.

I walked the busy streets until I was forced to take the EL back to my place and no matter how badly I sought peace of mind it was nowhere to be found. My mind was a jumbled mess as I wondered how I had missed this piece of the puzzle that had become my life. The wind was cold and biting as I stood there waiting until finally the train I needed appeared. I ignored the other passengers as I tried to come up with a somewhat normal way of asking about Bella after almost eight months of silence after his wedding. The same wedding I had walked out on to love my girl without a word of congratulations or good bye to the man I viewed as my father.

I held my phone in a death grip as I reached my stop and then continued to strangle it the short walk home. It wasn't until I was in the silence of half forgotten apartment that I finally took a deep breath and pressed send to call him.

"Edward!" Carlisle greeted me with a laugh, startling me with how happy he sounded. He never sounded this pleased and that had everything to do with his new bride.

"How did you know I was about to call you?" he asked me in a teasing manner as I stuttered a hello.

"Now before you have a chance to tell me no and trust me when I say I am refusing to accept your decline of this invitation," he said with a slight laugh as he geared up to ask me something, not that I cared since I had my own all consuming question to ask him as well.

"I want to remind you of Thanksgiving on Thursday and that I am expecting to see you here, no excuses," he said in a firm tone that so loved and made me smile since he always thought to include me after my parents' death.

"Of course," I agreed since there was no way I would say no to him, especially considering that I was going to ask him to help me find my girl.

"Uhm…Carlisle?" I asked as I struggled to remain calm since I knew I was just minutes away from finding my girl.

"Do you remember if you had any wedding guests by the name of Bella?" I asked him in a rush of words and nerves before waiting with my eyes clenched tight in what was anticipation of his answer.

"Bella?" he repeated in a question as if I had asked him something completely out of bounds and maybe I had since I was asking about his wedding, the same wedding that occurred eight months ago.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I don't know a Bella, but I will ask Esme," he said before launching into a string of questions that all revolved around why did I want to know. I stuttered through my answers since how do you explain o someone who was sane that you met your destiny and lost her all in one night.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

Thanksgivings in the past were low key. They would consist of that horrible turkey roll or a trip to Johnny's Steak House for their Thanksgiving Dinner, but this year would be different. That's what Uncle Carlisle told me before ending our phone call, but I didn't believe him since how different could things be? I was wrong. Thing could be very different.

"Edward!" Esme exclaimed as she opened the door to their graystone with wide amber colored eyes filled with happiness as she pulled me in for a too tight of a hug. She was nice person, but there was something about her that always put me on edge. I think it was how she looked at me as if I was some sort of a makeover project for her since the woman lived to make things beautiful. It was her job as a decorator and she had always wanted to change me since the moment we were introduced.

"Have you ever thought about going with contacts?" she asked me as she stepped away from me to look at me better while I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her. So it begins.

"I have, but I like my glasses and …" I started to say with a weak smile as she shook her head at me.

"You have beautiful eyes, Edward, and you are hiding them behind your glasses," she said in an almost chastising tone that caused me to bite back the growl of irritation that always came with Esme's suggestions to me a more attractive person.

"Leave the boy alone," I heard Carlisle call out, saving me once more from the insanity that consumed the woman he choose to marry.

"Just think about, Edward," she said with a wink before leaving me to stand there with that sick feeling inside that she always gave me since it was a little too close to flirting for me.

I looked around the room and instantly regretted being there. I could have chosen to have pizza with Marcus and Didi, but instead, with Didi's prodding I was here.

"_You never know, Edward," she said to me as I explained to them that Carlisle didn't know a Bella._

It was her encouragement that had me here in a room full of people that I didn't know and didn't care to know either. I sat there on the end of an overpriced and uncomfortable couch that looked nice listening to people talk about nothing of importance when I heard Esme's typical fake scream of delight announcing another person's arrival.

"Look who made it after all!" she yelled into the room while tugging on a woman who was dragging her feet in reluctance to come in.

"You all remember my little sister Issy Marie, right?" Esme yelled over the chatter that filled the room before shoving a mortified looking woman before her as if she was tossing her to the wolves in typical Esme fashion. I looked at the poor girl who blushed and stuttered before us for a second before realizing that this embarrassed fool was my Bella.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! A special thanks goes out to the whomever ( at the moment I cannot see who made the rec, but once I can I will thank them properly) rec'd this little fic for The Lemonade Stand Fic of the Week. It is an honor to even be listed and I am in awe of such a compliment. So, go show your support for their blog… go to their site and vote for your favorite five fics. **

**Tehlemonadestand dot net**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta's**

I watched Bella stutter for a moment before a shadow fell over her and Esme as they stood there.

"Esme!" a booming voice yelled causing everyone in the room to jump in surprise as the shadow turned into a tall, overly large dark haired man. He quickly grabbed Esme up in a tight hug, causing her to scream in surprise as he picked her up off the floor. I watched half in horror and the other half in amusement as Esme swatted the man while demanding to be put down.

"I hope you don't mind that I brought Seth," she called out over Esme's screams, causing me to stare at her as she covered her laughter with a smile.

"Of course not," Esme practically hissed as I watched the scene before me while everyone else turned away, bored with Bella and the man known as Seth's arrival.

"Thank you for being so welcoming," Seth said with a bright toothy smile that seemed to take the edge off of Esme as she looked at the guy.

"Whatever," she mumbled as she turned away from them to find me standing there, waiting, watching, and unsure of what to say since it was Bella, the very same Bella that I had dreamed of for over six months.

"Issy Marie, I don't believe you have had a chance to meet Carlisle's nephew, Edward Cullen, have you?" she asked my girl who was oblivious to me standing there even though my body was vibrating with excitement just because she was so close.

I watched with held breath as she finally looked at me. Her whiskey colored eyes met mine, wide with surprise as her rose colored lips formed a perfect 'o'. She was beautiful with her dark purple dress that hugged the curves that had haunted my dreams with sweet memories of how her skin tasted and felt beneath mine.

"Bella," I managed to stutter like a nervous school boy, effectively ending every scenario I had played out in my mind as to what I would say to her when I found my Bella again while outing myself as the huge dork she was knew me to me.

"Bella?" Esme questioned in a high pitched whine, breaking the connection that I shared with the girl that kept her standing before me. I watched as realization seemed to dawn over her beautiful face, causing her to scowl and her eyes to narrow in what seemed to be disgust as she looked at me.

"You two know each other?" Esme asked as Bella stepped closer to me, so close that I could smell her perfume and the fruity scent that was her body wash.

Bella never answered her question instead she just stomped on my foot causing me to howl in pain as she turned to stomp away from me, leaving Seth doubled over in laughter from Bella's grand exit while Esme stared at me and then my girl's retreating form in shock.

**AN:  
Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I watched my girl stomp away from me. She was all fire and emotion. She was mad as hell at me and left me with a throbbing foot that might possibly be broken, yet I could not take the smile off my face since she was here. I knew where she was and more than that I knew her name.

Issy Marie. It didn't fit her as well as Bella did, but that was fine. She could be my Bella and their Issy Marie. I didn't care as long as she was mine.

"What the hell was that about?" Esme demanded as she looked over at her other guests to see if they had noticed the scene that played out before them, but they were oblivious to us.

"I…Uh…I met Bella at your wedding," I said without ever taking my eyes off of Bella's back as she disappeared into the kitchen to avoid me.

"Yeah, I heard about that," Seth snickered, causing me to turn to look at the man who had come to this dinner as Bella's guest. My irritation was growing just by looking at him. He was an ok looking guy with too wide of a smile and too knowing of a look in his eyes.

"She said you were very _polite_," he chuckled as I growled in response to his mocking words while Esme gawked at us both as if we both had lost our minds.

"I gotta fix this," I mumbled as I left him standing there with a confused looking Esme quizzing him over what had happened.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks for everyone who has voted for this silly little fic over at The Lemonade Stand. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I limped my way to the kitchen, not heeding the warning that Seth called out after me.

"You're an idiot!" he yelled after me as I walked away from him.

"She'll cut your balls off," he continued to warn even though Esme tried to silence him with a sharp elbow to the ribs that made him grunt with displeasure.

I listened to their senseless bickering as I stepped into the cold, immaculate kitchen that looked as if Esme never used it. I had no doubt that she never did since this dinner was catered just like any other dinner I had been forced to endure with her.

I stepped into the muffled silence that to find Bella facing the overly large commercial grade stove, stirring whatever was bubbling in the pot before her. She looked angry and gorgeous all at once with her dark hair down framing her face while blocking her eyes from me so I could not truly see her.

"Bella," I said in a low whisper as I approached her. I wanted her to know I was here for her even if I hadn't known that she would be here at all. I watched her stiffen before me.

"Go away," she hissed in a whisper as I stepped closer to her. It was a dangerous move after how she had stomped on my foot, but I could not resist it. I had missed her too much in our six month apart and she smelled too sweet for me to ignore.

"I've been looking all over for you," I admitted in a soft tone and then listened to her laugh. It was bitter and cold.

"I've tried to find you, but I didn't know…" I started to explain, but she stopped me by spinning around to face me with wide angry eyes and her adorable face flushed red in rage.

"My name. You didn't know my name because we didn't exchange name. _You _didn't want to exchange names. You claimed that it added to the mystery that was us," she growled at me in anger. She was beautiful like that, so beautiful that it was almost distracting.

"I didn't know that we would…" I began to say, but she interrupted me once more with a loud shrill laugh that made me cringe in response.

"WE would what? Fuck?" she cackled loudly as she watched me flinch over her choice of words.

"Fall in love," I corrected her and then watched her look at me with wide surprised eyes as I silenced her with my admission.

"I fell in love with you that night," I said in a rapid tone, taking advantage of her disbelief to tell her what I was thinking.

"I can't explain it any more than like that," I said softly as she gawked at me.

"There was a connection there and I know you felt it. You told me so," I continued on as I watched the shock drain from her eyes as she took a deep breath to begin what could only be her tirade against me.

"I fell in love with you when we made love, maybe before that moment, maybe it was the moment I saw you at the bar when you wrecked my notes, I don't know," I said as I tried to take her hand in mine, but she only jerked her hand away from my touch.

"We made love, Bella. That's what it was so please don't discredit it by implying that it was some cheap one night since we both know it wasn't," I said with confidence since our love affair was the one thing I was ever confident about.

"That morning I woke up and could not stop the story in my head. You were right, you know. It needed a love story, _our love story._ You know the one, it was the same one you wanted me to tell you that night," I said as I watched her face flush red from the memory.

"I started to write and then ordered coffee. The thank you note, which was for the guy who delivered it, not you," I confessed as she looked at me with a disbelieving scowl.

"I had plans to take you to breakfast, to feed you strawberries and champagne while pleading my case that I needed you in my life," I said and then watched her roll her eyes in response while huffing loudly in disbelief.

"I just had to write first, you know to take away the ache inside to get it out. I left you to sleep and then lost track of time. When I came back to the room you were gone," I said as I looked at her, willing her to see the honesty in my story.

"I _never_ would have left you alone. I never planned on it. You are my girl and you have owned my heart from the moment I saw you. You have to believe me," I pleaded as I watched her, waiting for some response, something, and anything that would tell me she understood me, yet she remained a blank page.

I waited for what seemed like forever as my girl looked at me with a storm brewing in her amber colored eyes. I watched as she opened to her mouth to speak only to snap it shut once more, leaving me in cold silence, until she finally let out an angry sounding sigh.

"I don't believe you. I don't believe you at all," she said in low whisper that shook with the force of the unshed tears that made her eyes appear glassy as she looked away from me before shoving me out of her way to escape the room I had trapped her in.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

Dinner was cold and silent with Bella seated across from, but looking anywhere except at me. I could feel her friend, Seth, watching us as I tried to gain to attention while she avoided me.

"So, Edward," Carlisle said with a grin in his voice as he cut through the silence between us with his happy tone.

"Tell me how the book is going?" he asked me as I continued to look at Bella.

"It's going well," I said lamely as I looked over at my uncle who was blissfully happy with his life with Esme. I may not care for the woman, but she had worked magic upon him, making him smile like I had never seen him before.

"Good," he said with a bright grin.

"Your father and mother would be so proud," he said in a softer tone that he always used when he mentioned my parents. It was that same reverence in his tone that made Bella look at me with a curious look.

"My parents died during my freshman year of college. Car accident," I explained in a low tone as she looked away with a nod of her head as if she understood I was speaking to her, telling her about me even though she didn't seem to want to know.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to me, meeting my gaze with her sad one before allowing silence to settle between us once more.

"I lost my dad when I was sixteen," she whispered to me while holding my gaze, letting me see her, the real her, the one I knew from or time together.

"I'm sorry," I said as she nodded, understanding what comfort I was offering her as she began to look away from me, but I could not have it. I knew if she looked away I would lose her, and this moment where she was with me for real, not the harden shell of anger that she had been earlier.

"Tell me about him," I asked in almost a panicked tone as my mind raced, trying to think of something, anything that would keep her, the real her, with me.

Bella looked at me with a curious look, but I could tell she was dying to speak. She wanted to talk about him. I could see it in her eyes with the way they lit up when I asked about her father.

"Why do you want know?" she asked me in small voice that held no anger, just curiosity over my interest.

"Because I want to know everything about you," I said simply, letting her see the honesty in my eyes and heart as I willed her to believe in me and what I knew as the truth about us.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

Over the course of the evening I was told the life story of Charlie Swan. He was a brave man whose wife left him and their six month old daughter to chase after a career in art and an older man who promised her a better life.

"Esme is my step sister. She always hated my mother, but loved me," Bella confessed with a grin that was slightly goofy as she looked over at Esme who was too busy fawning over Carlisle to notice. It made more sense knowing this since I could not see a family trait shared between them.

Bella's tone took on a more pain one as she explained how her father, who was a police officer, was killed on his day off. He was on his way out of town to fish when he interrupted a robbery at a gas station. He tried to stop it and ended up being shot instead. It was after that that Bella confessed in a whisper how her life was turned upside down as she was taken away from her grandmother and forced to live in Chicago, not the small Iowa town she had grown up in.

"I was ok, I just missed…everything," she said as she looked at me, letting me see her and the pain that lurked over her losing her father.

"I understand. I still miss my folks too, but I have believe they would want me to happy and I _like_ to believe that it was them that brought me to you," I said as Bella remained wide eyed and silent since there was nothing more to say than that.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! We are winding down here….**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

The night ended with me and Bell standing on the steps of Carlisle's graystone staring at each other. We had spent all night talking, not listening to others around us, just us in a private conversation. It was just enough to drive me insane with the need to know more about her.

"I know this was not what you had planned and it definitely was not what I had planned," I stammered as she looked down in what could have been embarrassment, but I couldn't tell since I couldn't see her eyes.

"And, yeah, I went about this all backwards, but I want to see you again. It could be dinner and a movie or just watching TV, I just want to see you again," I said as I stood there waiting for her response while Seth lurked in the background watching our awkward exchange.

"I don't know, Edward," she said slowly, killing me with her indecision over us and me.

"Don't think about, Bella, just do," I said firmly, encouraging her to be with me while trying to keep from looking desperate even though I was.

I took hold of her hand in held out as I struggled with the pen in pocket until it was free for me to write with.

"This is me. This is where you can find me as well as call me," I said as I wrote my information on her hand as she stood there letting me do it without much of a compliant.

"Think about it and call me, ok?" I asked her as I held her hand in mine for a moment longer, warming her fingers with mine before letting her go, even though I hated to.

Bella slowly moved away from me as Seth called to her to get moving since he was cold. Her amber colored eyes held mine until she was forced to turn and lea me standing me there, watching her go while repeating the old saying in my head that my mother once told me.

_If you love someone set them free; if they come back to you they are yours, if they don't they never were._

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I sat on my couch in my boxers and t-shirt with my lap top, slowly writing anything as I tried to focus on anything except the fact that I had let Bella walk away. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done outside of losing my parents. I just kept reminding myself that we were meant to be otherwise I would not have found her and now I needed her to trust in us as well.

I was lost in the twisted train of thought about Bella and me when there was a soft knock on my door. No one ever stopped by except for the elderly couple that owned the book shop and they had never visited me after seven at night.

I approached the door cautiously since life in the city had at least taught me to error on the side of safety since anything could happen. I peered out the peep hole to find brown eyes peering back at me.

I struggled with the lock until I was able to finally able to jerk the door open to find Bella standing there. She was wearing a black winter coat with a hot pink and purple cheetah pattern scarf and hat. She looked adorable and cold as she met my gaze with a slightly embarrassed one.

"Uhm…I was going out shopping… you know, Black Friday, with a Seth and thought…" she stammered as I stood there looking at her, waiting for her to finish her nervous rambling, but she never had the had the chance to complete her thought since Seth took over.

"She wants to know if you want to go out on hell night with us," he said in a bored tone as he appeared out the shadows of the hallway.

I didn't look at Seth, but just kept focused on Bella and watched her face blush red in response. She wanted me with her and that was all the sign I needed. She back and that meant she was mine.

"I'd love to," I said as I opened the door to invite them in to wait while I got dressed.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

Black Friday shopping was a tangled mess of people looking for bargains, but there was none to be found.

"You really want to do this?" I asked Bella, causing Seth to bark out a laugh at me, as we stood there looking at the crowd in the store before going in.

"Yeah, it's tradition," she said with a smile that made me want to kiss her.

"Is it tradition to bring along your one night stand? Because if it is I need to call Jacob then," Seth said teasingly while Bella blushed over his words. It was true that I had started as her one night stand, but we were more and I think she knew it too.

"I'm not her one night stand," I said as I took hold of Bella's cold hand in mine, causing her to look at me with a mixture of surprise and relief.

"I'm her forever," I said with confidence causing Bella to smile while Seth groaned in response.

"Tone down the creepiness, man," Seth said as I watched Bella try to hide her smile while not bothering to hide mine at all. I wanted her to know my intentions and I intended on being with her as long as she wanted me plus some.

"No, I like it," Bella said with a giggle that made my heart pound, as she squeezed my hand tight as we stood together watching the chaos around us.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Black Friday shopping turned into early morning breakfast. Seth had long abandoned us, leaving Bella and I alone in the bustling IHOP that she had chosen since she wanted strawberry crepes.

"They aren't so good here, but they'll do," she said with a smile just the waitress left us with our thermos of coffee.

"We could go somewhere else," I offered as I tried to think of where to go at six in the morning so my girl could have what she wanted.

"This is fine, Edward," she assured me as she patted my hand while making me smile. This wasn't the first time she had touched me without thinking during this outing.

"So, how's the book?" She asked me as I shook my head at her question.

"We agreed to talk about you," I said reminding her of her promise to tell me about her life while we waited in line in to pay for what few items she decided upon.

"There isn't much to say. I work as a pastry chef and on the side sell my bake goods to some local coffee shops and book stores," she said as she looked at me with a shy smile that reminded me of how she looked when she spilt her drank on my napkin full of notes that fateful night that we met.

"I actually sell to the book store below your apartment," she said as I stared at her in surprise.

"I'm probably there once a day," she said as I felt the sick burn of irritation as I realized how close she had been and how many times I had missed her in our months apart.

"So, the mocha chip cookies?" I asked as I tried to shake off the anger of missed opportunities to embrace the one I had before me.

"Mine," she said proudly as I groaned in appreciation since they were my favorite as she blushed for me.

"Those are my favorite," I confessed as she smiled with her cheeks still a lovely shade of pink.

"I'll have to make a batch just for you," she said before taking a sip of coffee as I smiled at her.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

After breakfast we were once more standing together against the cold wind whipping off the lake saying good bye.

"Would you like come in?" I asked her, ever hopeful as I motioned towards my door while I tried to block the wind from her the best I could.

"I don't think it's a good idea," she said as she looked at the door that went up the narrow stairwell to my apartment with what I hoped was a look of longing.

"I'll make you lunch. We can talk," I said as I tried to keep her with me, but she continued to shake her head no.

"I've gotta go. I'm meeting my mom," she explained as she stopped to rummage through her bag for a moment before producing a book, my book that I had written with her help.

"I bought this when we were out," she explained as she held it out in front of me.

"I could have given you one," I said as she held my words against her chest. She had no idea what seeing her cradling the words I had written for her was doing to me as I fought the urge to kiss her.

"No," she said with a shake of her head as she pulled a pen out of the same bag.

"Would you sign it for me?" she asked me, making me feel more self conscious than I ever had before in her presence. I wanted to protest, but I could see by the look in her eyes she would not give up on this silly notion of me signing the damn book so instead I took the pen and opened the book. I wrote the words that I thought would bring her back to me once more and then closed it while making her promise that she wouldn't read what I had written until she was home. Bella nodded as she looked at me with an uncertain look as I leaned to press a kiss against her kiss before leaving her once more.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

My mind kept going back to what I wrote in Bella's book. I wasn't sure if it was enough for her to come back to me, but it was all I could think of on such notice so it would have to be enough.

_When I looked into your eyes the moment we met that night as you struggled to replace my notes after spilling your drink on them, I did not see you or the girl I had dreamed of as Emily. I saw my today, my tomorrow and our future for the rest of my life. I saw every wonderful holiday and lazy weekends. I saw you and only you at my side, in my bed, and wearing my ring. I know you think this is crazy because it is crazy, but please give me a chance to show how good the future would be for us._

_Love,_

_Edward_

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Four days. Four days of silence from Bella as I waited impatiently for some word or comment that she had read what I had written just for her. Four days of nothing but wasted time.

It was madness and as I sat in the stillness of my apartment, going over every moment I had spent with the girl, I decided that enough was enough. I would find her. I would make her see what was so clear to me, that we were meant to be.

I stood up to grab my shoes, not caring that it was eleven at night and that most likely my girl could be a sleep. I needed to see her so that was my plan, but before I could act on my overdue decision to do something about the nothingness that was occurring in my life, there was a loud bang at my door.

I walked to the door, irritated that I had to take time away from seeking Bella out to find what the hell was going on in my hallway. I jerked the door open with a growl to find Bella standing before me; her hand was raised as she was about to pound on my door again. Her hair was tangled from the wind and her cheeks were red from the cold. Bella's eyes were bright and kind of startled looking as she stood there, staring at me as if she was almost surprised to find me in my own home.

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could she had launched herself into my arms, knocking me backwards with the weight of her body as she wrapped her arms around my neck to hold herself to me before silencing me with a kiss.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I awoke slowly, feeling the heaviness of sleep slipping off of me as the brightness of morning over took the darkness of night. I opened my eyes and for one moment I was living the same life that I had been day in and day out. I was the same man, waiting on Bella, hoping for her love and attention while biding my time. I was the same man stuck in a time warp that never seemed to move forward, until the cold trickle of reality came crashing in on me.

Bella was here.

She had come to me.

She had returned to me.

I opened my eyes as images of last night played out in my head like a dream, but only better since they were real. I could see Bella tangled around me in the hallway, pulling at my shirt or with her hands in my hair. Bella with her red, kiss swollen lips, half opened while her eyes were half closed with pleasure. Bella on my bed, beneath me, above me, everywhere I wanted her to be and more.

My hand reached out instinctively towards what would I would always consider as her side of the bed and found it cold to the touch. It was the emptiness that sent a chill through me as I wondered if she had come back and given me a tasted of what could be only to punish me by leaving once more.

I scrambled off the bed in search of her, not bothering to grab my boxers since what did matter? I just needed to see her and know that she was still with me. I stumbled my way down the hallway, tripping in my half awake state over clothes that had been discarded last night in my haste to feel her so close against me. With each step panic seeped into my veins like ice water, waking me up and taunting me with the fact that she was wasn't here and maybe, just maybe I had dreamed her being her in my desperate state.

I staggered into the kitchen and then came to a complete halt as I came face to face with a wide eyed Bella standing with a mixing bowl in her hand. She had her dark hair twisted up in a loose bun secured by old chop sticks she must have found in my junk drawer and was wearing my t-shirt from last night. She looked puzzled to see me for a moment as I stood there naked and stupid before her. I watched her as the puzzlement left her eyes and was slowly replaced by a bemused smile as she set the bowl down on the counter before stepping closer to me to wrap her arms around me to pull me close to her.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! We are about done here….**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Bella was here. She had stayed.

"I was trying to make you breakfast, but…" she trailed off as she motioned towards the almost bare cupboards where food should be.

"I don't want breakfast. I want you," I said as I pulled her tighter against me while slipping my hand under the t-shirt that she had slipped on that had once been discarded to feel her skin. She was here and that was all I needed.

Bella's giggle was soft and giddy as I trailed my cold fingers over the flesh of her belly, tickling her while discovering that she was bare beneath the cotton that barely covered her. She leaned into my touch as I pressed wet, scratchy kisses against her neck while simultaneously freeing her of her t-shirt so that she was as bare as me.

"I don't understand you at all, Edward," she whispered to me breathlessly as I cupped her heavy breast in one hand while grabbing her generous ass with the other to keep her close to me.

"What is there to understand?" I asked simply and honestly against her skin in-between kisses that made her shiver beneath me. It was that shiver that told me she was mine. I loved that shiver almost as much as I loved the throaty gasp she would make when I entered her warm body.

"What are we doing?" she asked me in a soft whisper as I took a few step, forcing her walk back wards until she was pressed against my almost nonexistent counter top.

I had plans for her; plans that involved her legs upon my shoulders as I made love to her hard while she moaned and pulled my hair. It was all the plans I had for the morning. All the plans I had for the day included her naked and moaning in pleasure while I took my time exploring her body until I knew it as well as my own.

"I'm going to make love to you," I whispered and then felt her shiver once more right before I picked her up and set her upon the counter top. Her eyes were wide with surprise and dark with lust as I pulled her legs part, spreading them wide, to expose her to me.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard that you'll only remember my name, not yours," I said as I rubbed over her wet, pink flesh before leaning down just enough to trace the outline of her pink nipple with my tongue before sucking on its hard peak while she groaned loudly.

"This is what we will be doing because I need you, Bella," I said as I pressed closer to her, letting her feel me.

"Do you feel how badly I want you?" I asked her in a low whisper as she moaned while I slid my cock over her wet pussy, bumping her clit with each pass of my flesh. It was maddening and perfect. It was every dirty thought I had of her in this kitchen that I was bringing to life.

"Yes," she half moaned for me just as I shifted against her, moving to fill her with one solid stroke of bliss that caused us both to cry out in shocked pleasure. There was no more need for words since there were no words for me to tell her what we were doing since I knew she could feel it as strong as what I had. I knew she could feel the love between us since I could see it glowing in her eyes.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Merry Christmas to those who are reading & celebrating the day! I hope you all are having a wonderful day!**

**I hope to update this one at least a few more times today since at my house it's a lazy day with kids playing in pjs all day and my hubs napping on the couch.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I looked out over the studio audience with a nervous smile while Marc clapped me on the back like a proud father. In many ways Marcus had taken on the fatherly role in my life, guiding me through the rocky waters of being published as well as sudden fame just as my book took off. He was the best friend I had never asked for or ever expected to come out of the mess that had been my lonely existence.

"So, the last time we saw you Edward it was more than a year ago. You were on the hunt for your dream girl and I wouldn't be much of a host if I didn't ask if you ever found her," Jimmy asked me as I felt my face flush red with embarrassment as I thought about my first failed appearance on the Jimmy Fallon Show.

"Yes," I managed to with a smile as Jimmy took over by talking about my Bella and the wedding/honeymoon we had just returned from.

"Bella is an amazing woman and I was honored to be Edward's best man," Marcus interjected before talking about his own wife who now was on display for the nation as Jimmy showed a wedding picture of the four us together taken on the white sand beach that Bella and I were married. The crowd ooohed and awed properly in response to each picture of Bella looking stunning in her simple white dress wrapped around me in the tuxedo that she insisted upon.

"So, married life is good?" he asked me, trying to make me talk, but I was already lost in thought, thinking of the woman wearing my ring who was watching in the green room, waiting on me to return to her.

"Yeah, it's good," I said with a smile that made him laugh at me along with the audience who seemed happy for my blissful state of being.

"That's amazing man, since I know my wife she'd be mad as hell over flashing her panties on TV, but whatever works for the two of you," Jimmy said with a chuckle before transitioning into a commercial as my time slot on the show was done. It was during the commercial break that I gave the crowd one last wave before leaving them to join my wife.

I had barely made it back to the green room when I found Bella in the hallway. She was waiting for me with a curious look upon her face. I knew the look and the questions behind it since never once had I ever confessed to my appearance on Fallon, not that she was aware of it since she rarely watched late night TV.

"What was that about?" she asked me with a cocked eyebrow of question. I could see the hint of a smile on her beautiful face as she looked at me, waiting for my response.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I went on Fallon with Marcus?" I asked her as she shook her head no. I knew I hadn't, but I was hoping it would be enough for me to kind of not tell her since I was sure she would be mad as hell too once she realized to what lengths I went to find her.

"It's a long story," I said with a smile as I pulled her into my arms, marveling over how she fit against me so perfectly yet again since having her with me never got old. I watched as the half assed angry look softened until she was smiling at me with a loving look that I knew was mine alone

"It's a good thing I like your stories, Edward," she said with a grin before she pressed a kiss against my awaiting lips.

***The End***

**AN:  
Thanks for reading! Thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


End file.
